We saw Brahms: The Boy II in theaters and it was so bland and unfulfilling that I questioned whether or not I want to spend my free time reviewing movies of this caliber. As soon as I asked that question of myself, I realized that the answer is obviously – yes. I need to watch these boring hunks of junk to make sure you don’t have to.
This is the story of a family of three, Liza (Katie Holmes), Sean (Owain Yeoman), and their son Jude (Christopher Convery) that escape to the countryside to heal after a burglary gone wrong at their house in London.
Jude, the young son stops talking following the attack, and when the family shows up at the guest house on the Heelshire estate (where the original The Boy took place) he finds a doll buried in the woods.
The doll and Jude share a lot in common: not talking, staring blankly at whoever addresses them, generally being boring, and desiring to kill whole families. Through a notepad that Jude uses to communicate, we learn that the doll is named Brahms, and he has a bunch of rules for the family to follow.
You would be surprised how stringent these rules are, so they are broken often and the family is thrown into an uproar each time.
Eventually, we find out that Brahms is more doll than this family bargained for.
Brahms: The Boy II is a sincerely boring movie that does everything technically correct on paper. Casting, acting, pacing, direction – it’s all passable. The end result is boring as sin, though. At least movies like Fantasy Island are so zany that they are fun in an ironic way.
Brahms: The Boy II bored me to tears and I don’t believe that you should ever watch it.
Click to Expand for Brahms: The Boy II Spoilers
As I write this I am bored to tears at the prospect of having to relive the minutiae of The Boy II, but here it goes.
Jude is Mute
The burglary/attack on Liza and Jude really did a number on them, and Jude ends up going mute. Great, now we have to hear two nagging parents dote on their child throughout this already tedious script.
Jude going mute is supposed to add to the spook factor of the whole thing by making us relate to the parent’s further challenge of reaching their troubled child. Instead, Jude having to write out his every response adds padding to an already slim movie.
Jude not talking also helps to draw a closer parallel with him and Brahms, the doll. By the end of the movie, Jude is dressing, doing his hair, and wearing a mask that makes him look just like the doll
The Brahms Doll
MORE: Click Here for our blog about some of the most deadly horror movie dolls
Brahms is truly one of the most uninspired and generic horror movie dolls that I’ve ever seen. He has no hook, nothing that makes him interesting at all.
What are Brahms origins? There was once a boy on the Heelshire Estate that killed his family. His soul got into his doll.
Brahms: The Boy II ends in the least satisfying way it possibly could have – a history lesson. The groundskeeper tells the family about the backstory of the doll and gives us a bit of a montage of the destruction the boy doll caused.
The dad smacks the doll’s head and a weird creepy face is revealed beneath his smooth veneer.
Then the cliffhanger at the very end, once the danger is gone, is that Jude still enjoys wearing doll-like masks and might still kill his family.
Final Reommendation for Brahms: The Boy II
This isn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen but in terms of something that’s worthy of your time, it ain’t. Don’t support this; we want less of this.
Horror Movie News with Ben Warrington
- Spiral: From The Book of Saw – Darren Lynn Bousman takes the helm of the 9th installation of the Saw franchise. Written and starring Chris Rock, this movie has an expected release date of 15th May 2020 worldwide. Also starring Samuel L Jackson, so get ready Mother Buckets!
- Borderlands Movie – Hostel director Eli Roth is helming Gearbox’s long-in-the-works Borderlands movie. A film adaptation of the popular post-apocalyptic comedy shooter was first announced all the way back in 2015, with development being handled by movie studio Lionsgate.
- Orphan Prequel – William Brent Bell, the helmer of such horror films as The Boy, The Devil Inside and Wer, has come on board to direct Esther, the prequel to 2009 hit Orphan.
- A24’s Saint Maud– The debut film of writer/director Rose Glass, “Saint Maud” is the latest bold horror movie from A24, the studio that brought you Robert Eggers’ “The Witch,” and Ari Aster’s “Hereditary” and “Midsommar.” Opening March 27, 2020 in the U.S., the film premiered at the 2019 Toronto International Film Festival. Watch the first trailer for the film below.
- Shudder March Additions- “The Room” premieres on March 12; in this film about the dark power of wishes one couple discovers having everything they want is a dangerous proposition. March 19th brings Fangoria’s “Satanic Panic” to the service. The Chelsea Stardust directed film blends horror and comedy for a different take on the final girl fighting to survive. “Daniel Isn’t Real” finally makes it way to Shudder on March 26th. Patrick Schwarzenegger and Miles Robbins star in the story of a man whose imaginary friend poses a threat to his sanity as well as his life. Make sure you use that promo code to watch some simply amazing horror!
Trailers to look out for:
Spiral: From the book of Saw
The Invisible Man
Bens Recommended Underground Film Recommendation