In the most accurate portrayal of a girls high school locker room, we are treated to the wonders and horrors of puberty. Girls experience changes in their body such as menstruation and telekinetic powers, and boys get hard. Synopsis In this film adaptation of Stephen King’s first novel, Carrie White (Sissy Spacek) is a super sheltered teenage girl being raised by a religious fanatic mother while going to high school. In the first scene, we see Carrie experience her first menstruation in the girls locker room and she is utterly unequipped and humiliated. She’s relentlessly bullied by the other girls, and as a result they are punished and some seek revenge. The film shows Carrie’s journey from being an outcast to being a self actualized young woman, albeit in a tragic way. All along the audience is privy and sympathetic to the trainwreck slowly unfolding. Review of Carrie Carrie was a surprise hit in 1976. Off of a budget of 1.6 million, it grossed over 30 million … [Read more...] about Carrie (1976) Review
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Hatchet (2006) Review
We watched Hatchet on Tubi and were treated to one of the most generic comedic slashers I’ve ever seen in my entire life. … [Read more...] about Hatchet (2006) Review
Titane Review
Have you ever fallen in love with a car? Like really fallen in love with a car? Well take that lust and combine it with a horror movie, and you get Titane. Synopsis Titane is about a lot of things. I mean, what isn’t Titane about? It’s not quite a Tit, and it’s not quite an Ane, but maaaan…so to answer your question, I dunno. Just kidding, it’s about the worlds most famous female auto show twerker/serial killer getting pregnant from fucking a car, and posing as a grieving father’s long lost son. So, you know, that old yarn. Review of Titane This movie is really something else. There are obvious comparisons to David Croenenberg since it has some great disturbing body horror, but at the same time, it’s not like anything I’ve seen before. There is very little hand holding, to the point where it’s never quite explained why the protagonist does the things she does. But it’s apparent that even the protagonist doesn’t know either. It’s a dream-like film with … [Read more...] about Titane Review
The Menu Review
We went and saw The Menu, and were plated with a heaping helping of comedy drenched in satire, smothered in secret sauce. … [Read more...] about The Menu Review
The Strangers Review
People are strange when you're a stranger. This week we review The Strangers. Why? Because we were home. Synopsis A young couple comes home late after a friend’s wedding. Kristen, played by Liv Tyler, and James, played by Scott Speedman, appear distraught despite the obvious preparations for a romantic evening at home. We learn that their evening has been ruined by a failed proposal, and they awkwardly work their way through the fallout. In the midst of their relationship turmoil in the middle of the night, they receive a strange visitor looking for “Tamara”. They turn the teen girl away, but she soon returns. Eventually more Strangers in masks show up and torment the young couple with increasingly strange behavior. Review of The Strangers The Strangers is in a group of super nihilistic horror films that use lack of motive, message, and pretense to their advantage. The dread felt in this movie is strong, and is caused by the confusion and hopelessness of the … [Read more...] about The Strangers Review
Dashcam Review
We watched Dashcam on Hulu and got treated to the best 67 minutes of comedy laced terror wrapped in found footage goodness since Creep. … [Read more...] about Dashcam Review
Bonus Voicemail Episode – Whores Only 3
You called. We answered again. … [Read more...] about Bonus Voicemail Episode – Whores Only 3
Team Spear Sticker
Show your undying support for Team Spear by placing a sticker on the shaft (hehe) of your spear today! Never settle for less than the stabbiest! • High opacity film that’s impossible to see through • Fast and easy bubble-free application • Durable vinyl, perfect for indoor use • 95µ density Don't forget to clean the surface before applying the sticker. Yes, even the spear shaft (hehe). … [Read more...] about Team Spear Sticker
Team Bat Sticker
Show your undying support for Team Bat with a sticker to plaster on the foreheads of your zombie foes, followed by a swift bat bonk! • High opacity film that’s impossible to see through • Fast and easy bubble-free application • Durable vinyl, perfect for indoor use • 95µ density Don't forget to clean the surface before applying the sticker. Yea, even the zombie head. … [Read more...] about Team Bat Sticker
Smile Review
When you're smiling the whole world smiles at you. Maybe not in this case, but most of the resto of the time. … [Read more...] about Smile Review